Alio Die : Under An Holy Ritual

and Terrace of Memories : Terrace of Memories

ARTIST:     Alio Die
TITLE:      Under An Holy Ritual
TRACK TIME: 45:12
LABEL:      Projekt  (pro39)

AND:

ARTIST:     Terrace of Memories
TITLE:      Self Titled  (pro34)
TRACK TIME: 42:35
LABEL:      Projekt  (pro34)

This will not be your typical review, in fact I will tell you little about these discs, but hopefully, you will still get a feel for whether or not you want to add them to your collection. It is imposible to adequatly describe music with mere words, and these discs especially so. This time I will not even try. This "review" will actually be more like a sappy advice column. I've written this from the viewpoint of a heterosexual male, but feel free to flip pronouns and preferences as appropriate.

Now, the advice: Buy either (preferably both) of these discs, a single dark long stemmed rose, a bottle of good red wine, some crimson candles, an unobtrusive incense, (strawberry or cherry) and whatever else that makes your mate quiver.

Start the evening off by going out to eat, at a nice restaurant, preferably one where you've been before, and you know will live up to your expectations, one where there will be few unwanted surprises. Don't worry about money, (they'll make more) and select something to eat that you like, (not just the special) and be sure this objective is clear to your mate also. Now, order for both of you (this is a nice touch, but if you have a mate that will consider this sexist, either forgo doing such, or get a new mate). Do not be in a hurry, enjoy your meal, sit for awhile after, talking, tell your dinner companion that she's beautiful, have a drink or two, then go home, taking the scenic route.

For best effect, it would be better if you could have your home prepared ahead of time, so that you are not fumbling to set everything up, while your mood is set for...other things. Turn off all lights, light the candle and incense, insert Under An Holy Ritual into your stereo, and pour the wine into flouted crystal glasses. The music should not be loud. Lay down, say nothing, the time for words has passed, hold your out hand, pull your companion to you, and listen to the music. This recording is the longer (barely) of the two discs and also it has more going on, but don't worry, it isn't too busy to suit your needs. Try not to get caught up in the strange sounds coming across your speakers, but rather, allow the music to do its job and fill the background, while you worry about the dictates of nature.

When this disc is over, get up, and change the discs, and refill the wine, and do whatever else is necessary during this interlude. Start Terrace of Memories, but make sure that this CD is on repeat. Terrace of Memories is a disc that one can listen to over and over again without it getting annoying as long as it is not too loud. You can ruin the whole evening if you turn either of these discs up so loud that they become the focus instead of the object of your desire. Terrace is a more simplistic disc and in my opinion is better (especially suited for the above scenario) than Under An Holy Ritual.

The mood should not be broken, but if it is, take time to reestablish the connection between you and your lover, and do as you will for as long as you can, then thank her for a great time and ask her if you can do it again sometime. Do not act as though you have just done her a favor (even if you feel you have).

Modify this however you need to, in order to make the evening a success, but these two discs are integral. Yes you can do the above without them, but why would you want to? Add to the above, (write a poem flattering your love, make dessert) or do variations on what I have suggested, nobody is going to think too highly of you if they have the perfect evening, only to find that it had been written up in a disc review weeks before. One last piece of advice; if you find that none of the above works, and your chosen friend for the evening would rather listen to AC/DC, slam beers, and put cigarettes out on her arm, kill her, and listen to the above discs while you wait for the cops to come and give you ten to twenty for justifiable homicide.

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